#Flashback

A wish for love, with silent prayer, cannot travel through the air. A wish for love, with form and phonics, propagates and finds harmonics.” - Bret Victor.
A wish for love, with silent prayer, cannot travel through the air. A wish for love, with form and phonics, propagates and finds harmonics.” – Bret Victor.

I’ve always been asked by many people if I ever had a boyfriend as they hardly ever see me publically disclose any information regarding my relationship status nor private life. Well, I think that was something that I used to do, when I was 15 – back to the point that Blog 360 by Yahoo was so popular in Vietnam. I was, like many other teenagers, so flattered by the fact that I had one of the coolest boyfriends ever and could not help being a possessive girlfriend. I am 22 now and turning 23, at the age that I am in a way mature enough not to ‘facebook’ my private life and I also realized that I would need to find a way to keep him with me but not necessarily have to be a possessive girlfriend. The reason is simple: if it is true love then I won’t have to chase. Seriously. I would rather keep that for me and only my closest friends to know in order to protect my relationship.

There are some highlighted moments of my love-life for which I always feel grateful towards some of the guys I know for giving me a clearer understanding of who I am and most importantly, is to be confident of myself. Here is an interesting one:

CANBERRA:

There were me and Pippa, who is one of my closest Aussie female friends together with many other ‘Hyatt’ colleagues of mine. I bumped into HIM at a farewell party of one of my male colleagues as he was leaving for ‘the vibrant’ Sydney. “HIM” – N.L was the coolest guy at the party who had worked before at ‘the hotel’ where I was working at that time. He’s a perfect combination of the half Western and half Asian type and obviously that I did not really have a reason not-to-like-him. But it was just IT – he was just so damn cute and we spent a bit of time to get to know each other during the night. Pippa was so on to him I could tell and it is pretty normal still. I had to leave early that night as I had got to start a very early shift next morning so I guessed, it was nice meeting him but this could be first and the last time we met.

On the next day:

HE added me as a friend on Facebook!

A few days after:

“Hey Cam!” – I was called by another male colleague who also joined the farewell. “Hey, what’s up?” I replied. “What do you think of my friend?”. “You have so many friends, what are you talking about?” – I questioned. “Well you know I’m talking about N.L, the guy that you met at the party…”. “Ahh! I think he is a nice guy, he added me on Facebook the other day, but that was just it…”

There was a night unlike any other night:

I logged on to Facebook and keep my Facebook messenger on. N.L buzzed me and ‘officially’ said “hi”. I could not remember how much time we spent on the chat. The only story that I could remember until now is when we was having the ‘men and women’ debate and how he complained to me that his female colleagues could easily get uncomfortable when they constantly hear the pen clicking sound. And I did agree with him that women sometimes can be very sensitive whereas men would only pay attention for what they are interested or what really matters to them (Please do correct me if I’m wrong).

The conversation went over 2 hours I guess then N.L greeted me goodnight. He also mentioned that we should catch up for a coffee sometimes.

For some stupid reasons I went extremely quiet…

A few weeks later:

I got some news from the hotel school where I studied and learned that we would be relocated to Sydney. I was a student on an industry placement (IP) at that time so it also meant that I would have to move to Sydney at the end of my IP.

The night before I moved to the new city:

I was face-booking as usual. For some reason I kept staring at the Facebook messenger… There was something inside my head right at that very moment which made me start to count 1, 2, 3… And guess what? He was there starting to type:

“Hi Camellia…”

“I know you are moving to Sydney…”

“Just wanted to say hello and I don’t see you until then, please take care and I wish you all the best”…

I was like… seriously :(. I remember I admitted something to him. I said I wish we could spend more time to get to know each other.

SYDNEY

I moved to the new city and not-by-accident, I had a “CANBE” (short for Canberra) reunion with the host of “the farewell party”.

“Hey Camellia?” he asked. “Yo, what’s up?” I replied. “Are you really Asian?” – he examined. “Don’t I look Asian? Why did you ask?” I questioned him back.

“Well, it is because, my friend N.L is a type that many Asian girls out there would get melted for and you don’t seem to show any interest”.

So Camellia went silent again as she didn’t really know what it was like to have to show her interest in somebody. And she was dying, little by little…

After that, I came back home in Vietnam for a short trip for my sister’s wedding in the end of 2011 and I also learned that N.L had moved to a new city. I wish him all the best.

8 months later:

I think I was at Wild Fire, a restaurant Sydney with a friend of mine. The coincidence is that the waiter who works there is gay, oh, no, I meant, he used to work at the hotel.

“Oh, so you worked there as well? Do you know N.L by any chance? The guy who used to work in….?” He asked me. Yes I do know him (Yes you have just asked the right person and thank you for having reminded me of him!) “You know what? I liked him but he is straight”. “Well, I know right…”

After dinner, I was walking down the street, back to Sydney CBD and sent N.L a text message: “I met this guy at the restaurant. He said he worked at the hotel that we both worked before. He liked you but you are straight unfortunately. Good night 🙂

Author: Camellia Dinh

Hi, it was just me and nothing significant but my regular dose of experiences, thoughts and feelings. Views are my own.

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