The Bigger Person

Guess what? This is my 100th post in this blog – believe it or not, it’s been kind of a journey that I have been though. I have spent the past three months staying at home due to COVID-19’s strict social distancing. The first month was a lazy month, as if I never really have such a long break in my life, I spent most of my time watching Netflix, resting and cooking, that was good.

“Being the bigger person means you don’t always have to be someone who has the last words to say”.

Camellia Dinh

The past two months have been so busy as I thought I should be more productive, and I guess I have been overly proactive at some point and way faster for some to be able to catch up. So I am slowing down a bit today just to celebrate a new milestone of my Blog.

I’ve have been known to be The Bigger Person in various contexts, relationships, work, relationships for things and people that I care about.

What does it mean to be The Bigger Person in every situation? Let’s us check out some of those famous quotations and see:

“Treat people better than they treat you.”           

“The way to beat them is to stop fighting them.” ― Miranda Bailey

“Don’t argue your path with other people. Walk it.” ― The Lazy Yogi

“Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.”

“No matter the situation, never let your emotions overpower your intelligence.”

“It’s being called the bigger person and apologizing even when you aren’t wrong.”                                 

“Refuse to fight small battles with petty people, your life is bigger and better than that.”  

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ― Robert Brault

“Pay no attention to what critics say. A statue has never been erected to a critic.” ― Jean Sibelius

“’EGO’ is the only requirement to destroy any relationship. So be the bigger person skip the ‘E’ and let it ‘GO’.”

Quotes from Various Sources

One quote from me: “Being the bigger person means you don’t always have to be someone who has the last words to say”. I’ve learned this after involving myself into arguments with family members. I know I might not always right, but it doesn’t mean I am wrong, it doesn’t mean the other person is right or wrong. Because at the end of the day, we all have beliefs, we all have opinions. What makes you think that your beliefs are more important than other’s people beliefs? Yes, it is because that’s the bible that you learn to live by, that’s fine too. There’s no point of trying to be right when you can choose to be loved, especially when the other people are not your competitors or enemies.

I have just realized something about me recently that could easily being turned to either a strength or a weakness. That is the fact that I am an overly sensitive person. Yes I am, very sensitive, to the extent that I could sense someone’s feelings so easily, I could detect if something is wrong, whether or not I actually know what it is, and I am almost always right.

There are three men that entered my life who have left such a strong impact. Most of them have some common characters:

All are ‘older’ than me – with an age gap of 6-10 years.

High achievers – all have high ranking positions in what they do – They are all talented – some are overly confident.

The second one came in the most unexpected moment, it was a whole brunch of coincidences that we met unexpectedly and a series of myths that actually made me think that God brought us together. He couldn’t take his eyes of me or, to control his emotions around me. But I never worked out, perhaps he never wanted to commit, still not ready for any type of commitment – or worst – he was just playing with me, that’s too bad 🙂 I was confused, I wrote him a message just to let him know my feeling, and I apologize for letting myself being such an easy person for him to get closed too. And I did not request him to reply my message, if all what I said was right and that we should act like adults from now on and no more emotional attachments. He never replied, I assumed that I was right.

The third person came to my life. We got together only weeks after. I didn’t expect anything of him, but he made me feel appreciated, not only he cares about me, he cares about my friend or family, and most importantly, we have time for each other and make time for each other. In this relationship, we both feel like that the other person is the bigger person, but somehow, we are both babies in a way. His daily jokes make me angry like a crazy monkey but he knows I just can’t stay mad at him, because if he saw me getting grumpy, he would act like he is just an innocent ‘primmy’ who needs to be protected and treated gently. Yes how can I stay mad? I am the bigger person, aren’t I? He is just a primmy!

“The nicest thing about rain, is that it always stop”.

Winnie the Pooh

The first relationship didn’t last long. It took us a year since we’d known each other to realize the other person’s existence and he made me feel like I was ‘the one’ for him. I loved his small gestures and over conversations were sexy – for the fact that he was always so intelligent and spot-on. I was too young and overly sensitive. I didn’t know what expect, but I felt insecure the whole time. I don’t know if he’s the type of emotionally unavailable or not, but he hardly shares his feelings and he used to make me feel so small – and all the differences with cultures, distance, leverage and ego teared us apart. Over the 5 years period, we have been going on and off. I was almost always the one who initiated the conversation and to open up about how I feel. I don’t know, whether he had to much to think, he was paralyzed with what to do with life, or he was simply an asshole (sorry for the bad word), but there were two times that I actually took my courage to let him know how I really felt, he took sometime to reply, and thank me for being The Bigger Person.

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