Life is Magnifique in Hanoi

life isNot too long ago I was in my 20-something crisis. I knew I was. I saw negative sides of things that I encountered on a daily basis with the highest level of disappointment I can get… I found nothing interesting in anything or anybody. That sounded so bad wasn’t that?

I walked along the rainy streets and I knew I had to make a phone call to a friend. 15 minutes later we got settled in one of the coffee shops near by. I asked if he could tell me the truth of how miserable I looked at that time… He was like ‘yeah yeah’ like it doesn’t even matter…and of course the fact that he did not show any sympathies to me at all made me a little angry… Then I decided to stop talking about myself. I saw the sparkles in his eyes and could not help wonder how he had been. I asked why he could be so happy. The answer was quite simple. He said he was happy because he loved all the things that he had been doing… Wasn’t that good?

But still, facing the fact that only him feeling good so it did not make me feel any better. I looked out the window and sighed: “Can you please tell me when this rain’s going to stop? I am so sick of this weather…” I said, with knowing that my friend might have been fed up with me already for ‘un-intentionally’ trying to turning him down… “I am so tired of this city. It’s always either too hot or too cold. And did you notice? The foggy and rainy weather has been like this for 1/4 of the year…” I continued.

Then he began – I think I only waited for this moment to hear his feedback. Because I know this guy will he super direct and straight to my problems.

“What’s happening with you?” He asked. “Are you trying to tell me that I am not acting like who I am? Like a normal me right?” I answered.

“Can’t be truer than that”. He laughed sneakily. I questioned him back: “Hey, I knew you also have a hundred things going on at the same time and you also changed your job last year… Don’t tell me it’s been a smooth process….!?”.

“Of course not… You had no idea how bored and disappointed I was when I had to quit the job. During my last few days at the office, apart from the day-to-day activities that we all have to accomplish, I had done something that I thought it was abnormal. I read through a 500 pages long book about Vietnamese history and now I feel like I have a new profession…”.

We laughed until his face looked a bit more serious again… “I think you should stop looking at the dark sides of everything. Of course you can leave if you don’t like this city anymore but you know more than anyone that there are goods and bads everywhere. Why don’t you look at this city to see our advantage of having seasonality? Other cities in Southeast Asia do not have that and they missed the opportunities to sell seasonal products and services…”.

“Okay!” I smiled and that’s when he knew that he made a clear point to me…

We kept the talking for another 15 minutes later before we greeted goodbye. 3 months later, I called him back and asked how he was doing… I know this is the man that I should be thankful for having him as a friend. And now, talking about seasonality, if you think Hanoi is the only capital city in Southeast Asia that has 4 seasons then it’s time to think again. We don’t just have 4 seasons, we have 12 flower seasons. I brought this idea for an internal presentation at work and received a number of good feedback… Let’s just forget about brand standards for now… I am just in love with the thought of me re-starting to have more of original ideas and finally get back to be my-authentic-self…

Changed

I applied for this job when I was at my worst. I had no idea what I wanted to do at that stage and the job appealed to me almost as a PLAN B option in life. But still I did want to see my future in which I would have to regret about something that I wish I could have done so I would go with any it as it would be the best way to know how much I would love/hate it…

The fun fact is that the job turned out so much different than I thought it would be. I still remember exactly how negative I was while thinking of all this… The fact is apart from a  job which keeps me busy on a daily basis, it turned out to be ridiculously exciting and guess what? I am actually having fun right now – this is something I really did not expect from the very first days. I am actually getting along with so many people I thought I would not…

So I think I’ve changed – not to become a completely different person but a better version of mine. I guess it’s just time that we will just need to get rid of all our concepts if you want to live or work happily regardless of how or what you want to do with your life. I have not seen this normality for so long… I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting to get my authentic self back and I think I am getting there…

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After All

after allIt’s 11:38 PM now I know I have to go to bed. But it doesn’t stop me anyway from typing a quick post since I have not posted anything on my blog for ages. It’s really been a roller coaster which doesn’t always go up. But I am feeling good right now and I don’t think I should expect for more. I think I’ve done a great job so far. No matter it was a great act or it simply because of who I really was. More than several times I confessed some of my weak moments to some friends of mine. Whenever I say I feel lack of confidence, and I always get the same answer: “If you are not confident of yourself then I don’t think I can find anybody who is”. Well I guess this is a compliment or whatever it is – it’s lifted me up a little bit.

So I’ve been at my third job now after 3 years almost. It’s kind of hard to believe but there’s a tendency that people actually hire me for my personality. Well I don’t know yet how great I am – I am new to many new things – but I guess I will be fine. This is not the first time I have heard of this: All I need to do is to be confident. Sometimes I tend to forget the fact that I am still very young and I will have a lot to to learn and experience… Fingers crossed! Tomorrow’s a brand new Monday! 11:53 PM

Let It Be

I have literally shut the whole world and the hell out over the past few days. I am not sorry that I have refused to take any advices (good or bad).

It is the moment when all you really want to do is to shut the world out, turn your music on and the favourite tune is always Let It Be by The Beatles. Love this type of songs and those things that never fade away…

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The Artistic Me

cropped-because1.jpgIf I were not a business woman, I would probably be an artist – like a musician or a singer.

I still think I am an artist and I’ve been somewhat living an artistic life. I very often think in music and just like what Albert Einstein said: “I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music… I get most joy in life out of music.”.

The only difference would be: I don’t do music for a living. I hold no degree in music and arts nor having a professional work permit to become a professional singer. But I started to sing since I was two – I was able to sing almost everything that I listened too, whether it was in Vietnamese, English, POP music, Rock or Country Folks. This often makes things a little more interesting while a seeing a Northern Vietnamese like me is able to find a sing a song that represents a region of Vietnam with a very local accent.  And I guess the most exciting part is when people start to question whether I originally come from a region where the song that I sing belongs to…

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a particular talent in anything and absolutely not that I had a great voice or a great vocal (My vocal is down to Britney Spears’ level…), but I do feel like music turns me up whenever I feel down, but not every time in the most positive ways but I’m sure without it, my life will not be easier.

Some people like to talk about their problems – I would choose a song to sing then I solve mine: