Nàng thơ

Hồi gặp em ở chỗ làm thì anh thấy em cũng cứng thật, nhất là lúc em làm việc. Nhưng có hôm anh đi qua L’espace, hôm đấy anh thấy em mặc đồ gì đấy rất đẹp và nhìn mặt rất xinh đi dạo trên đường Tràng Tiền là anh nhận ra em thực ra là một người rất lãng mạn và nữ tính, cái này ai thân với em thì sẽ thấy.

Trên kia là lời nhận xét của anh bạn thân rất thân nói với mình ngày hôm nay khi mà cả hai đang ở nơi mà mình gọi là “Sài Gòn Cô Tiên năm 2020”. Có vẻ anh ấy còn nhận ra một phần mơ mộng trong con người mình từ lúc mà hai anh em còn chưa thân nhau. Còn cậu bạn thời thơ ấu thì vẫn luôn tự an ủi mình, thôi cậu cứ như vậy đi, đừng thay đổi, dù có già đi cậu vẫn là nàng thơ của tớ, những thằng khác không có đâu, vì cậu không thay đổi, cậu vẫn là nàng thơ. Ừ thì đó, nhưng thơ mãi sao được đây…

Sài Gòn Cô Tiên năm 2020

Mình nghĩ một trong những điều trớ trêu nhất chính là việc người khác giao cho mình làm kinh doanh, trong khi bản thân thực chất lại là một người theo thiên hướng khoa học xã hội và nghệ thuật. Nhiều khi ước gì mình sinh ra vào một thời đại khác, khi mà các bạn “học giỏi” không có nghĩa chỉ là giỏi các môn khoa học tự nhiên để sau này thi vào khối tài chính ngân hàng. Có những giai đoạn mình cố ép bản thân ngồi trong nhóm của những người học giỏi đấy rồi lại thấy mình chẳng liên quan. Mà không hiểu sao mình cứ nghĩ nhiều thế làm gì cho mệt não. Công việc cũng chỉ là công việc, không chơi thì nghỉ. Nói thì dễ mà chẳng hiểu sao cứ miên man…

Mà cũng đúng thôi, sau cả một chặng đường đấu tranh cho những cái tôi to đùng, mình lại giật mình tự hỏi vậy con bé ngày xưa đâu rồi? Cho mình xin phép phàn nàn một câu, làm người lớn đôi khi thật chán…

Mình đã từng là một đứa bé đi sưu tập những nhánh cây và hoa về nhà trồng và mỗi sáng đều chạy lên sân thượng để kiểm tra xem hoa mười giờ đã nở chưa và luôn cảm thấy vui mỗi khi có một bông hoa nở đẹp. Giờ thì không cây cũng chẳng cỏ, chỉ thầm ngưỡng mộ những người luôn nuôi dưỡng tình yêu đặc biệt với thiên nhiên.

Mình cũng là đứa ngồi mải miết đọc những quyển sách ngữ văn của các chị gái. Mình nhớ hồi đấy mình học tiểu học, các chị lớn hơn 3-5 tuổi nhưng đã bắt đầu ngồi đọc những bài văn thơ nước ngoài và còn học thuộc. Có một bài mình chỉ nhớ loáng thoáng có tựa đề là: “Thư gửi mẹ” của một tác giả người Nga, còn có một đoạn thơ như thế này. Cũng không hiểu sao đến khi mình đi học thì không còn những bài thơ như vậy nữa.

“Chỉ có điều mẹ nhé những ban mai

Đừng đánh thức con như tám năm về trước

Đừng gợi lại làm chi những giấc mơ đã mất

Đừng gợi chi những mộng đẹp không thành

Cũng đừng dạy con nguyện cầu vô ích

Nẻo về xưa đã khép lại rồi

Chỉ có mẹ là diệu kỳ, ánh sáng niềm vui…”

Rồi bây giờ lại thêm thời đại 4.0, kỉ nguyên của công nghệ nữa. Mình thấy thêm một điểm nữa là mỗi lần xã hội có thêm một bước tiến mới thì cái bản chất bảo thủ của mình nó lại lộ rõ thêm một phần nữa. Cứ như thế này thì còn chỗ nào cho tình người? Còn chỗ nào cho mộng mơ? Chẳng hiểu những thời đại sau này, như con cái mình nếu có thì các bạn ấy sẽ lớn lên như thế nào nhỉ? Mình đã có thời gian đi du học và nghĩ rằng lựa chọn về Việt Nam là chuẩn xác, nhưng rồi nghĩ lại một câu chuyện khác rồi lại đặt lại câu hỏi cho bản thân, liệu rằng mình đã nghĩ đúng chưa? Mình có một câu chuyện mà mình đã có cơ hội tham gia vào như một vai nữ chính trong phim.

Sometimes it doesn’t have to make sense, to make sense…

Sau này có con thì cho con sống ở đâu?

Chuyện về người hơi bị cũ. Hồi đấy mình mới tốt nghiệp và đi làm được khoảng 2 năm thì có quen một anh này. Nói chung biết nhau cả một khoảng thời gian không cảm xúc gì và vào một ngày đẹp trời mình bắt gặp một cái ánh mắt anh ta nhìn mình theo kiểu cực kỳ là bất thường. Mình cũng thắc mắc không hiểu có phải do mình là con gái nên thường hay tưởng tượng là bọn con trai nó thích mình không. Xong từ lúc đấy người anh kia đi đâu cũng thông báo để mình biết, đến mức thói quen của mình cũng thay đổi vì cứ phải theo dõi các chuyến bay của người ta và muốn biết người ta có an toàn hay không. Một ngày đẹp trời khác khi đang ngồi nói chuyện anh ấy đột nhiên hỏi mình: “Sau này có con thì cho con sống ở đâu nhỉ?”.

Thấy kỳ lạ gì đâu. Mình hỏi con ai cơ? Con anh ấy hả? Sống ở đâu mà chẳng được 😂

Không, ý anh là nên sống ở Việt Nam hay ở Châu Âu hay ở Úc. Ví dụ ở Việt Nam thì sẽ dễ tìm giúp việc nhưng giao thông thật là khủng khiếp, còn bên Châu Âu thì việc học có vẻ sẽ tốt hơn…

Mình đã nói với anh rằng là quan trọng nhất là ba mẹ của con là ai và mình có cố gắng tạo điều kiện tốt nhất cho con hay không thôi, ở đâu cũng được mà. Nhưng em nghĩ mình đang đi quá xa rồi đấy.

Anh kia: Rồi một ngày nào đấy chúng ta sẽ quay lại nói về chuyện này thôi, anh chắc chắn đấy.
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Nhiều năm sau, cái chắc chắn của anh đã đảm bảo là đến giờ anh vẫn chưa lấy vợ, mà cũng có thể anh chẳng muốn lấy ai, nếu lấy thì có vẻ sẽ phải lòng một cô gái Việt Nam nào đó thôi. Mình đã từng mất khá nhiều thời gian chỉ để nghĩ về người này xong giờ chẳng nghĩ gì nữa, sau vụ Covid anh này cũng đang tạm trôi dạt về châu Âu, vẫn đủ tử tế để cập nhật cho mình về địa điểm mặc dù chẳng biết bao giờ mới có cơ hội gặp lại 😊

Chỉ mấy hôm trước thôi mình đã nghĩ là nếu mình có lập gia đình và nếu có con cái thì cứ ở Việt Nam thôi. Nhưng chẳng hiểu sao, ngày hôm nay, chỉ sau một buổi họp về công việc, mình bắt đầu thấy có những điều không ổn… Thôi thì vẫn như mình đã từng trả lời anh kia, dù có ở đâu cũng sẽ cố gắng làm những gì tốt nhất có thể…

Mình thực sự vẫn cần nhiều hơn thời gian để mộng mơ…

Ảnh chụp một buổi chiều Sài Gòn mưa tầm tã tại The Dorm Đồng Khởi. Ảnh do anh Trang Minh Hà chụp.

Fish or Factory?

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It could not get more dramatic than this, people in my country, in the Socialist Republic of Vietnam have been given a closed ended question of getting to choose between objects: Fish and Factory?

Both are worth having of course, and while many of us still do not know what I’m talking about, then here are a few facts from Channel News Asia:

1) In recent weeks, tonnes of dead fish, including deep-sea species, have washed up on the shores of four provinces along Vietnam’s central coast – Ha Tinh, Quang Binh, Quang Tri and Thua Thien-Hue – affecting the livelihoods of fishermen and businesses dependent on the region’s seafood industry.

2) Local media reports had pointed to toxic discharge from a multi-billion dollar steel plant in Ha Tinh belonging to Taiwanese conglomerate Formosa Plastics Group, riling public anger against the foreign investor. Local authorities have also been blamed for being slow to respond.

3) Vietnamese authorities say they have found no conclusive link between Taiwan’s Formosa steel plant and mass fish deaths along Vietnam’s central coast. “Until now, after our investigation and evidence gathering, we have not found any proof to conclude that there is a link between Formosa, other factories, and the mass fish deaths,” he said in Vietnamese.

Anyway, the given question of fish or factory was merely raised by internet users then eventually went viral on social media. It has nothing to do with legality nor to give Vietnamese citizens the right to decide anything. The scientists and investigators will do their jobs, and the victor will write history after all. Until then, we shall keep this social media campaign going just to see who saves the factory and who protects the fish.

I never wanted to have to think that our lives are in danger so let’s be a little bit more positive on this. At least right now we still have the options to scale and to decide whether to prioritise the fish, fishery, the tourism industry or the steel industry or whatsoever… Because once we still have options then it might still not be end of the world.

More than ever, I am thinking of Karen Reid, in case she might be reading this, who was my lecturer when I was at my third year of university. 4 years after graduation, I still remember the question once she asked in our Event Facilities class: “What do you think is the best way to stop immigrants to a city?”

Whatever you are thinking of right now, I was thinking the same… Whether it is about visa restrictions, safety, weapon, education or things to do with money… Everything is correct, but there is one element that not so many of us could think of. She said one word: “Water”. If we stop supplying water in that one single city, everyone will start to leave. No water, no life!

Similarily, while talking about killing, many of us think of wars or weapons or diseases… just like what I have seen in one of the most recent Korean dramas on air: “Descendants of the Sun”, which my sister had successfully ‘trapped’ me to watch. But no, if toxic water which could kill tons of fish at once, no matter what the causes were, that would be as dangerous as the wars with guns. I wish we had another option to make it more of a multiple choice one rather than a closed question, it would rather be: 1) Water – 2) Fish – 3) Factory.

I don’t believe in a life that have either Fish or Factories or both but without Water…

Photo Credit: Pascal Campion

#fishorfactory

Hakuna Matata

For one and many reasons, April had never been the favourite month of the year for me and for many of us who live in the city of Hanoi. It is Spring here when we would rather expect to see beautiful flowers, but in this fast-paced developing city with full of ongoing construction projects, the sky could not look any sadder and greyer. Although the weather is not too hot, not too cold but you could easily feel the wet, dirty, smelly, sticky and humid air. By this time last year, I spent most of my time thinking of all the happenings with life, career, relationship and of course this damn weather too.

Like a day dreamer, I walked along a rainy street and I decided that I need to see a good friend of mine. The appointment was set up in only 10 minutes later in a coffee shop nearby, I guess this is why he became such a good friend of mine.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Happy”  He immediately replied.

“Why? and How?”

“Oh you know, I’ve got to do what I like, I quit the job that feel so stuck at it after three years. Of course there was a time that I feel hopeless, I even spent a month reading an over 400 pages long book about history of Vietnam. You know I could be historian now”. “You?” – He laughed and asked me back.

“Miserable”. I answered then looked away through the window and sighed.

“What are you looking at?” – He asked.

“The weather. I am so out of this place…”. I replied.

“What are your problems?” – He started to look at me and ask…

“Many problems” – I replied and went on: “But I’d like to blame on this weather so neither me nor anyone else would have to take this blame.

“Then let’s talk about the weather… What do you hate about it?”. He asked.

“It is messy here, there are times of the year when it is either too hot or too cold, too humid or too dry. Now it’s been raining for the whole month and no one seems to work… What kind of place is this? People are going crazy and so am I”. I felt guilty that I called him all his way to see me then have to hear all this but I just could not help it.

“Did you think about the upsides of this weather?” He asked and laughed a little.

“Okay, tell me, what’s up?” I asked.

“It’s raining and humid right? So that they could sell more home appliances like dryers, like raincoats or umbrellas. They are produced for a reason you know… Think about the law of supply and demand… And now you’re complaining that we have too many seasons huh? Thought you would be happy that you will be able to wear change your outfits after each season. The fashion industry in a city of four seasons will mostly have more things to do and to talk about than an all year round sunny city don’t you think?”.

He shut me up since then because I simply could not agree more…

I was asked to give lots of advices today to a new colleague of mine, who is an expatriate, completely new to the city and having full of doubts about herself and her future. We spent 03 hours of talk about everything then as soon as she started talking about the weather, I gave her a quick smile, realising the story is getting a little old. I said: “April showers bring May flowers, have you heard this before? I learned this some time ago.

And “Hakuna Matata” – I brought this from Lion King, it means “No worries”. Things will work out for the best.

camppretty_mayflowers

#From Work: Young & Innocent

#TinyStoryFromWork:

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To me, the worst thing about wearing a uniform and following the same dress code is the fact that you will not be able to tell who is who and you will not be able to tell if he/she’s got a style… Well, I am not going to have a uniform debate by the way, I am just making excuses for not knowing some of our junior colleagues’ names because they all look similar in their uniforms on a regular basis. But there’s one person that I am going to remember his name forever from today.

Where to start? I merely went for a general check up a V.I.P function at the hotel today to ensure the event was under control. Unfortunately, I got to know that it was actually not-so-under-control from the very first few seconds…

“Why?” – I asked the supervisor.

“One of our staff went unconscious for a few minutes in the V.I.P room and when the majority of guests had been seated”.

“Who? and Why?” – I asked while getting a little bit shocked.  I could not think of any suitable reason, did we make he/she work too hard? It was 12:00 and perhaps he/she skipped breakfast? “Was that a he or a she? Do I know him/her?”

“It’s a he”. She replied and continued: “I think you do know him. He had been with us for a long time but he worked as a casual staff. And today was actually the day that he has his officially contract signed with the hotel that makes him so nervous and then it happened… A bit unfortunate that there were so many V.I.Ps in the room but I hope they understood if we tell them the reason”.

“Where is he now? Is he okay?” – I continued.

“He’s right there, working like nothing has happened”. She answered.

“Oh”! I stopped for a second and looked to the right where the boy was standing to welcome the guests.

Yes, I do notice him, this tall and young male Sofitel ambassador who wears glasses, about 20 years old. He’s got a friendly smile with both politeness and shyness. At that very moment, I could not think of anything else – Who could be so mad at him now? And for taking his job too seriously? Hmmm I do not think so… Instead I thought it was cute and innocent of him – and I would say this frankly if and only if this did not make me any less of being a hospitality professional. I have not felt this way for a long time about someone I know. Perhaps it was just for a simple reason that I have met too many people, and yes including myself who often appear in the most ‘damn’ mysterious, confident and …fearless!

This ‘junior’ moment actually made me smile. I hope the boy is all okay now. But since he has taken this career so seriously and to the extent that he got so emotional like that, I hope he will end up being a good person and a good career advancement ahead.

And for me, it would be interesting to know what happened to Miss No-Longer-Afraid…!?

#IWorkInAHotel

W T F

Some of my favourite quotes at all times: After Monday and Tuesday, the rest of the week says W-T-F.

I firmly believe that your attitude decides how your day should be. But it does happens that some days are simply worse than the rest of other days, and we shall call it the terrible, horrible, no good and very bad day. I know someone has turned this into movie.

I have a terrible, horrible, no good and very bad week that I called a “W-T-F” week. Obviously, it stands for Wednesday – Thursday and Friday, in case you wondered.

Well I am a hotelier where getting feedback is a fundamental part. I am no longer surprised getting complaints from people so I am not here to talk behind my clients’ back. But I did meet some ugly clients over the past week: not so much about the ugly look (although there are some visually not-so-pretty ones) but mainly about the ugly manners and how they abused us as service providers and abused my colleagues.

Having said that, I don’t know how should I feel, I got angry for a second then I decided that I should not get angry anymore if we all know deep inside, everything happens for a reason: Many people lack of education no matter what age or what degrees that they have at hands; some people are treated the way they are normally treated and that they are too ordinary to know… And that is a terrible, horrible, no good and very very bad consequence…

 

 

“Happiness…

all depends on a leisurely breakfast… “~John Gunther

Thank you John Gunther, although I do not know who you are but I would like to thank you for having given us this great quote.

And for me, happiness sometimes is just a matter of habits. It does not mean that you have to keep doing the same thing every day to say happy – because I am sure habits can change. Perhaps some habits can keep you happy for a certain period of time, some say forever but as you get older, many habits can change if you want to…

So how did I change?

I used to brush my teeth before breakfast – The feeling was just so unpleasant if my teeth were not brushed within 15 minutes after I woke up. I guess this was no difference compared to those  who hates the taste of toothpaste while chewing their breakfast. But my habit has changed after almost 20 years because I wanted to change… Yes I have been influenced by people, by the news and so on, and I have changed my habit as I decided.

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[Photo credit: Rebecca Hinson]

I chose not to be threatened or not not to be chickened out by the way things are said and done by most people or the way this society wanted you to be. I think I was fortunate enough to be born “above” average. I am happy with my Asian style look and happy with my imperfects. It has not been always the case (I used to think that I was a freak), but the older I get, I guess the more mature, I would say I have become. It does not matter so much  if I have the latest hair trend or the latest fashion update. To be honest, I never cared and I’m sure I never will… But the lesson that I learnt is, you need to freshen yourself once every few weeks with new things. It means you should not wear the same type of clothes for a long period but try to make some changes. I often get asked if I wear a new outfit but I would be asked the same question if I wear an-old-dress-that-I-forgot-that-I-had-for-ages, or when I tie my hair up, or when I suddenly wear a pair of ear rings or a watch… A new red crop top after 14 days of wearing black or a new tomboy look after a hundred day of being in princess style…I guess we all need a bit of abnormal time after time…

I decided that I would need to increase my frequency of having leisurely breakfasts after realising that I spend more days of my life washing my hair rather than having breakfasts, which is dangerous. I am sure my hair is not happy when I wash her everyday and my body hates me for skipping proper breakfasts…

Dear body,

I am sorry for all what I have done to you. I have with me my 4 weeks goal to gain 2kgs in the most healthy way possible. I am fortunate to have met a very good colleague that I sometimes make jokes that she is my mother because of the way she takes care of me. Today I promised her that if I could reach my goal in 2 weeks and there will surely be a reward price for her 🙂 #fingerscrossed

 

Sapa 2016

Well trust me, I know, I know, I was supposed to be sitting and writing 2 motivation letters which would need to be urgently sent to Finland by tomorrow for my MBA applications. But since I not yet have any motivation to write that sort of thing (Well I don’t even think that I actually want that MBA but let’s see…) so I am writing a quick post about of of my recent trips to Sapa.

So finally I could sneak out of the office after months and months of not heading to anywhere new. The trip was pretty quick and simple, just like how I wanted it to be.

The only advice that I can tell you all write now is that you don’t have to do what I do because the way I travel pretty much defines who I am so you do what works well for you.

I knew Sapa was not a huge town – even though it is part of Lao Cao province, which is in fact, one of the largest provinces in Vietnam and famous for having hundreds and hundreds of mountains including the Fansipan – the tallest mountain in Southeast Asia – also known as the Roof of Indochina. I know thousands and thousands of young and old people want to get to the top of the mountain for at least once but for me it might not be the case… I have climbed a few high mountains so not that I am weak, lazy nor having Batophobia (A new word that I have just picked up for those who are afraid of height), I just don’t want to do it here…

For those who travel from Hanoi (like me), you could either travel by coach or by train to Sapa. I wanted to do the train but my nephew and many other friends said it is better if we travel by bus because it is faster and will go direct to Sapa. The train would take longer and only get you to Lao Cai City and you will need to take a one-hour bus to Sapa. I heard there have been a few ‘luxury’ tours by train now which have been operated by Victoria Sapa so that the luxury travellers will have the best of everything… which would be pretty nice to try… I have only travelled by train twice in Vietnam but I must say that I was very happy with the train facilities on my last trip, which was almost a year ago compared to how it was back in 2008.

We had purchased the tickets in advance and got onto the coach at 10PM. Think the name of the transport provider was Camel. This reminds me a lot of the time I travelled by Greyhound or Murray from Sydney to Canberra and vice versa. I consider myself as a super easy-to-be-pleased traveller because I slept almost all the way from Hanoi to Sapa. When I woke up, I heard some people talked about how they got panicked that night when the coach was driving up to the mountain. We got their at around 4:30AM and the bus driver was nice enough (I’m sure this is how they operate the tour) to let us sleep for another 1.5 hours after we reached Sapa. We all know this is good because we can rest a little more (there is absolutely nothing to do at 4:30 in a 5 degrees foggy whether) and so that the driver can rest too after a long hours of driving.

So we made it there – my cousin for the second time but me for the first time. I asked if my cousin was so sure that she wanted to go for the second time and she said it was always different when she travels with me – I am not entirely sure about that…

I like to do it my way, I know. Many friends told me that I do not have to worry about accommodation because I can easily find it anywhere. I will never listen to that advice because firstly, I am a hotelier, I need to experience the service so I would choose carefully where I would like to stay and secondly, I am a female travel, I want to make sure I am safe – so that I can sleep well at night. (I had this experience once when I was so new to Sydney and I was ‘brave’ enough to book a budget hotel at King Cross – Oh tell me about it… For me it was absolutely a terrifying experience right in the first moment I got there. Everything in that place reminds me of the video “We found love” by Rihanna… so with no hesitation I immediately book an #AccorHotels right on the next day… Maybe I am just not the right person for that travel style – I would never be ready for be coming a pack pack-backer…

I know I made the right choice to ensure I have everything on the book. I knew that I would stay at the Hill Station when I am in Sapa so I immediately checked with Soeren, the owner of the Hill Station if the rooms were available on my travel date. He told me the only date he had room available was on January 31. I was like… perfect, so I will take my annual leave on January 31 – I would travel on January 30, as soon as I finish work and I can catch the night coach and get there in the morning of January 31, 2015 and celebrate NYE there and leave Sapa on January 01, 2016 in the afternoon. That should be more than enough for a small town like Sapa anyway.

It was more or less, a little different from what I imagined of The Hill Station and its collections but it is overall a very pleasant experience. I got one of the nicest rooms (All rooms are nice and there are only 3 rooms available) so I consider myself lucky.

Although the whether wasn’t that nice but it was definitely not a big deal for me. I know I can always have fun in all whether conditions. Here are a few things that I would like to list for my trips in Sapa:

  1. Hotels – yes plenty – so don’t worry but don’t be so reckless anyway because if you travel in high season and you don’t want to sleep in the mountain then better get yourself a room before you head to Sapa. It is COLD there 🙂
  2. Food – Yes – I never knew Sapa is famous for FISH (especially Salmon) and wild animals (of course – there are trees and forests everywhere) but please don’t eat them. The funny part that I found was that I did not have food on the streets. There is something about me that I did not noticed so much until I have my dinner booked at U-Sapa. I was having dinner with my cousin and suddenly noticed that we were the only 02 Vietnamese in the dining room. The rest are foreign tourists and yes there is a Vietnamese lady too but she was with her foreign boyfriend. Anyway,  whether they are foreign or not has never been my issue… Could it be the reason that I entered a dining room with full of foreigners? Have I become one of them? Hmmm Still I am just not into street foods especially on rainy days…
  3. Foot massage: It is quite obvious that you can get a local “Dao Do” foot or body massage for no more than $US 3 per half an hour. I wanted to try but we spent too much time for eating and shopping so we completely run out of time for the massage…
  4. Shopping: This is one of the most fascinating experience. I never worried so much of being ripped of here. Who would and who could RIP ME OFF by the way?  Perhaps they can do that on foreigner but please I am Vietnamese. Those Mong kids who try to sell you a 0.5 cent key ring or those ladies (young & old) who try to sell a beautiful necklace for $US 2? And one of the sales lady was just so funny and at the highest level of honesty. She thought that we were students and had no money so just try to lower the prices as much as possible… For that only reason we have come back to her 2 times in a row whenever we need to buy some things and did not bother going to other stores… I must say that I really had good laugh while making a deal with them. I had bought so so many products before I left Sapa but let me guess, it did not cost me more than $US 60 for all the souvenirs, which include 02 of my favourite scarfs; 4 beautiful necklaces; 01 bracelets and over 50 hand embroidery products of all kinds. I don’t know if I should be happy because I’ve got so many products for a good price or I should get upset because what we pay for such beautiful things are so cheap and the human workforce and women are extremely under appreciated and the kids are sent to the market to sell stuff instead of going to school…. IMG_1935.JPGOverall, the experience of Sapa was good. I had a great stay thanks to the hospitality of The Hill Station staff and many other people. Hope to go back there again on a sunny day…

Talking to the Moon…

It’s funny how my phone could be instantly filled up with texts and calls and missed calls during day time and almost always in an absolutely silent mode at night. It actually makes sense because I set my phone on ‘airplane’ mode every single night… So that I won’t get disturbed while sleeping because of unnecessary notifications/the light and everything. And so that I wouldn’t have to wait for someone to text me or call…

bruno_mars___talking_to_the_moon_by_emosewa_chan-d4tdotp.png

I’ve got in to an extreme case I guess. That guy who has plenty of problems but why can’t I just forget… It’s been to the third year already and I don’t think I can forget that person. I don’t know why it’s come to this. I should have forgotten him just like anybody else. I know I will but when?

Not that I keep holding on to him. I have let him go and completely let go of him too. If this is not love then I don’t know what it is… Addiction perhaps?

Who said we would never get the best out of everything? I am sure I did. And I think I am right. No matter what it is and how life turns out to be… I think I will just be fine. Isn’t that always true? Then I can say… Yes it is okay not to go back in time and make a wish that we could be together. I cannot hate you and I won’t. I think loved you (but not to dead) and it was just enough that I wish you all the best in life, even if it means we’re never getting back together. I want you to be happy – And as much as I would like to have my own freedom, I want to set you free to go after what you want in life.

Thank you for being a great part of my youth. And thank you for all what you’ve done, because I know, if this wasn’t because of you, because of me and because of us, I wouldn’t have become who I am today.

Goodbye!

Saying everyone can be replaced is a lie.

I think when I said everything will be okay and everyone can be replaced. I actually lied.

There are certain things in life which cannot be replaced. Like the Earth, the Sun or the Moon, like your family, your mother, your father, your brothers, sisters, yourself and…myself.

Hmmm, for a moment I was thinking of that special someone, but he can also be replaced since you can still make choices.

The reason I said “everyone can be replaced” was to reassure my team when the two key persons decided to walk away. And I made everyone believed that it was right, because those two people were immediately replaced by other people and other people and other people.

In the meantime, I had been playing multiple roles: A sales person; a marketing & PR person for which I had been given a fancy name as a Business Development Manager (BDM). I did not know how good I was. The only thing that I know and remember was that I really was part of the company, a major part. It was just enough to make me feel like I had a major heart attack on the day I decided to walk away.

I am all happy now with the new job and what I’m doing, because I learn new things and I meet new people on a surprisingly  regular basis. This is necessarily always a good thing but for sure it’s not easy to get bored at work.

lies

And I am still who I am and I still do what I do.

Last Saturday I went to the Hanoi’s Annual Charity Bazaar hosted by the HIWC (Hanoi International Women Club). I had always been there over the past 02 years, but this year I was with a different company. This is a strange feeling when I am not with my Italian team anymore and did not get to wear an Italian themed costume this year. What even more awkward   was the moment that I intended to come and say hello to the old team, but nobody was there. Absolutely nobody! My boss was (almost) never there (and because he wouldn’t need to when I was in my position) but what I meant was… nobody. I know none of them, after 8 months since I’ve gone…

I am not going to judge anybody over this matter. But I was not happy to see all this. And it was not I was not because I was so full of myself but I know that I am totally not that someone who can be easily replaced…

Headphones

I’ve lost my headphones. I have been looking for days but still haven’t seen them anywhere. I was thinking of purchasing a new pair of headphones (which I will need them eventually for so many different purposes) but I stopped for a moment and think…

Would it be better if I quit wearing headphones…?

headphones

I have got into a habit, or it must have been a formed of addition that I need to have my iTunes and my headphones on whenever I get out of the house or office or when I get onto the bus. This is when I enjoy the most of my guilty pleasure – all types of song that I keep changing all of the stations so that the song would match my flow of thoughts. I guess it is the same for almost everybody these days. Is it wrong if I just enjoy my music, hello?

I feel thankful towards whosoever invented the headphones. Just about when I asked myself this questioned, Google helped me pull off the answer right away. His name is Nathaniel Baldwin, Canadian. He was a great inventor but a terrible businessman – as usual. Thanks to Nath anyway for all what he’s bought to human-kind but still, wearing headphones the way we do today doesn’t seem to be a good habit. The need for significance, the need for non-disturbance, the need for having ‘me’ time having been increasing. Everyone has their headphones on these days and communicates by commenting on Facebook posts.

One of the bus assistant yelled at me once for having had ‘ignored’ him completely while being asked for checking my bus ticket.

My dad got upset with me once the way I spend my time on my smartphone and how he saw me with my headphones on while walking home…

Obviously, I did not listen to what the person who sat next to me when they asked me what time it was…

I saw some Chinese guests who walked into our hotel lobby this morning wearing face masks. I hate seeing that. They looked weird, so weird, even if they were just being extra careful. But I really thought that they should not be travelling if they were so careful. There’s a life to enjoy, and your face is not what to be hidden. This maybe, one of the reasons why I am so thankful that I am not born Muslim. Please don’t take me wrong if you are Muslim but I just love the way people could live for who they are without having to hide themselves from layers and layers of costumes that belongs to the ancient school of thoughts. I never liked people who wear face mask by all means, except when you are a doctor, or when you are a patient… No one could ever recognise you if you keep putting your mask on…

And this may be time to take off your headphones just to listen to what others have to say… I know one of my problem is that I could get to the extreme level of ignorance. 2 years ago I read on the news, people said Vietnamese was on the world’s list for top ignorant index. Again I don’t know how true it is, to what level that they can measure this index. But last weekend, I saw a woman, who was riding her scooter on the road with her baby, connected to her by a seat belt who were both about to fall over from the scooter when they almost got hit by a car. Two men, with active mouths, two legs and two arms with full fingers were standing next to her and keep shouting: “Move, stand up!”, talked to the woman. Just by the time I walked by and saw the picture, I run into the lady and the baby who almost fell over because the mother, on the one hand, trying to hold the baby behind her back, on the other hand, reaching for the scooter which the seat bell was attached. I held on the baby and shouted to the guys who was less-than-a-meter-away: “What are you doing? Why don’t you come and help her out?”. Thanks god, the two guys eventually woke up, so we did not have to see a crying mother and the baby was threatened to dead.

I asked myself, what happened these people? They weren’t wearing headphones. They were capable to help, who have eyes to see, a brain to think but why no one reacted?

#madworld #coldworld #coldhearted