Just a thought, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭. If you still find yourself struggling with what’s got to do with the basics then perhaps you are not in a position to say a single word about other people and/or to judge on their abilities to do certain things. Work on yourselves and if you are on the right track, you won’t see yourself judging other people.
Here’s one of my favorite findings of all time “People transfer onto the current relationships the conflicts and assumptions generated in childhood relationships. They keep assuming that they are in the same constellation of roles and so repeat patterns of behavior. Most people experience their siblings, their fathers, their mothers and so on, on the job. Everybody has transference, the question is, how trapped are they in those patterns?” [Left on a mountain side, HBR 2006].
I have always thought that the worst advice that you could tell someone is to tell them to “Be yourself!”. Please don’t because yourself sucks. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has his or her own selfishness, desire, addiction and patterns. Try to be a better version of yourself instead. If you keep wondering how some people are the type of people you want to become, have you ever tried to practice and do the thing that they tell you to do? For instance, to overcome loneliness? to experience the same kind of pain? To sacrifice most of your leisure time to work on difficult tasks?
Although you can’t change the things you were born with, but you can always work on improving your mindset. I like it when I keep proving myself wrong from time to time. I used to think that I had ugly hands then once day I realized, my hands are not that ugly, in fact, they are actually quite pretty. And if my hands are ugly, then tell me what’s the definition of beauty? D’Art Chocolate has my hand holding the famous Phở stick
If you are judging what I am saying now, read the first and the last sentence again and again, they are 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬.The point is, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥, 𝐛𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝!